April 5th, 2013
One week before my Surgery. All I am thinking about is how am I going to miss work and not get a paycheck. I have to heal quickly. I have to get the house in order I have to pay some bills I have to do some grocery shopping for the kids. Ugghhh Where do I start? Plus, I need to get some workouts in since I cannot work out for a while. Workingout always destresses me and makes me feel calm.
Friends and family want to get together on Sunday for a potluck and Volleyball. I am so ready for that. I have amazing friends and family and love to spend time with them.
Much needed time and that way I am not thinking about what is going on.
April 10th, 2013
Two days before my surgery. I get a call from the Nurses office of my daughters school, she is feeling faint and like she is going to through up. She cannot hold her head up very well. I am at work trying to do some catch up before I have to have my surgery. I called my mother in law to see if she can pick Aly up and take her home and I will go on my lunch and check up on her. Of course she can. She is so helpful and I am so grateful she is in my life.
Then true to my Chaotic life... I get a call from my oldest daughters school that she had a siezure and it lasted 6 minutes! Her longest yet. I rush to the school and find out she had not been taking her meds and therefore she had a seizure! I am angry at her I want to take her and shake her and scream in her face. But..... I hold her and kiss her and tell her I love her. I will talk with her after she has had some rest. I take her home and cannot contain myseld because she is coming out of it an dis alert. I scream to her that she has to take her medication that she loses so much oxygen when she does not breathe for that long period of time, I beg her to please not put me through this. THen I do it! I through my sickness in her face maybe reality will do it. I start to cry and tell her do you realize I would give anyuthing to be able to take a pill and make CANCER go away? Do you get that that is all you have to do?! She cries and tells me how sorry she is and she iwll be better about it.
We arrive home and I find my youngest daughter Aly on the floor in my bathroom throwing up and pale and weak. I call work. Not coming in. I clean Aly up and teh bathroom pur her to bed.... Go get Peyton and take her to bed. Pull her hair out of her face and lay her down kiss her tell her I love her to the Moon and get some rest. I go back to my room and lay with Aly... I rub her back and hold her hair as she gets sick at the side of the bed. She has finally fallen asleep and I get up because now I have so much to take care of. I clean and disinfect the entire house. All the laundry is done. The groceries are bought and stocked! I get on the treadmill for a while to just think.
April 11th, 2013
The day before surgery, Prepare some meals, finsih up the little stuff at home. I did make it to work. Filing and binders all done. Bids sent out. Calls made. I am officially caught up at home and work. I go home to rest. I get to and it was nice. My thoughts are not "Why me"? They honestly are "Why now?" My kids are still needing me My son ANthony is 18 graduating this year; Daughter Peyton is 16; Daughter Alyx is 13.
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